Seventeen monkeys, six Daimlers

The DLCV holds an annual winter weekend run for V8s, known as the Brass Monkey. We joined our fellow 'monkeys' at early o'clock on Saturday in suburban Melbourne and headed through the Yarra Valley and over the Black Spur toward Beechworth: a historic town famous for its associations with the gold rush in the 1850s, bushrangers a few years later (Ned Kelly was tried there in the courthouse) and as the site of an imposing Victorian asylum. Nowadays Beechworth is the home of award-winning 'snot blocks' (vanilla slices) from its bakery.
Five V8 saloons and one SP250 Dart sportscar came on the run - two Daimlers 'failed to proceed' and their owners were reduced to driving modern cars.
A fair bit of eating and drinking took place over the weekend. Actually, I suspect the route was actually plotted with the food stops in mind - the scenery and fantastic driving roads were just a bonus!

Here we are in the Tatong pub at lunchtime on the Sunday. I'm looking very pleased with my lamb shanks; Ian is chewing his enormous burger manfully!

Pub dining rooms featured heavily: the Mansfield Hotel for Saturday lunch and Saturday dinner at the Hibernian in Beechworth. Kathy was foolish enough to take on Jack in numerous post-prandial Sambuccas at the Hibernian, so she was feeling a mite delicate on Sunday.

More Brass Monkey shenannigans

Don and Norma's remarkably original Sable V8-250 has always belonged to their family and still has under 50,000 miles on the clock. Kathy dubbed it 'the chocolate drop.'
Jack and Phyllis' Gunmetal Grey 2.5 Litre, with a grey interior. Complete with two fuel pumps - more on that later ...
Michael and Pat's glossy black V8-250 with red interior and wire wheels. With a stainless steel exhaust and rebuilt engine (twice!) it sounds as good as it goes (except when not ... see below ...)

Next to it, Ian and Joyce's SP250, in British Racing Green with tan interior.
Oops. Yours truly was honoured to swap keys with Michael and get into his pride and joy 'Phil' for a drive. Michael's car is noticably more lively than Dame Zara, with better acceleration and tighter handling. I was really enjoying the comparison. Sadly, the SU fuel pump had other ideas - after I conked out pulling up a hill, the Chaps managed to get the pump going again, but it kept cutting out, so a roadside heart transplant was in order.

A bunch of Brass Monkeys go to Beechworth - no bananas to be found

The monkeys, from left: Michelle and John (who bought along their young son Kai, or 'tadpole' as he became known); Kathy; Brian and Vera; Pat I, Norma, Don, Clyde, Pat II, Jack, Phyllis, Ian, Joyce and Michael. Your humble correspondent was manning the camera.
Clyde and Pat's Old English White V8-250, with a tan interior.
Dame Zara, of course, who aquitted herself very well. Tony's minstrations did her the world of good. I think we can state with confidence that the Hesitation Waltz has been cured. She pulled hard at all revs, on the flat or up hills, and on one clear, straight stretch with no other cars in sight for miles I floored it and watched as the tacho rose to well over 4000rpm and the speed to, well, quite fast indeed! (I believe that my car is set up to do 17.7mph per 1000rpm. At 4200rpm, I'd expect to be doing 74mph; at 4500rpm a hair under 80 ...)

Look ma, I can sing!

The CD player and its power pack sitting in the parcel shelf. As you can see, I performed some over-enthusiastic dismantling in order to get the cassette player out! In my defense, I did need to unscrew the whole radio/heater console in order to put some padded, double-sided tape along the edge - it was making the most annoying squeak ... Some hours later, it was all back to rights and the CD player even works without skipping - most of the time. 

Power up

It might not look all that elegant, but this is the 12-volt power adaptor that can power the portable CD player. The cigarette lighter socket is both switched (via the ignition) and fused, so it's safe and can't accidentally be left on to flatten the battery. If it becomes a permanent fixture, I'll hide it behind the dash somewhere and just run the power lead into the parcel shelf. 

How to nobble a cassette deck

In my attempts to deliberately 'ruin' Zara's not particularly good 70s Eurovox cassette deck, I snipped this drive belt, then cut the power to the motor and eventually stuffed a bit of folded-up Gaffa tape in an essential crevice! The result: one reasonably good-sounding line amplifier into which one can plug a portable CD player, iPod, etc. I still haven't managed to work out how to disable the auto-reverse switch, so it clicks a bit, but it'll do for now.

I'll eat those modern pods for breakfast!

  

Dame Zara meets Tony and Ennio the Diagnostic Technicians

Dame Zara went this morning to meet Tony & Ennio the Diagnostic Technicians at Kingsway Autocare. Tony used to own a 2.5 Litre V8, so he knows what's what with dual points, dual carburettors and all the other interactive complications to be found under the bonnet. He set up my fresh points, checked the timing and that the carbs are balanced, etc. $50 well spent.

T-pieces

The left-hand t-piece went on without too many problems. I cleaned up the two pipes as I went - the front one coming from the water pump and the rear one going to the heater. I left the right-hand side t-piece for another day: I'll need to dismantle the entire carburettor on that side to get at it. The next sunny day, I promise! The old one doesn't look too bad - a bit perished but not showing any signs of leaking or imminent explosion - I hope!

New points about to be fitted now that I finally have the Elusive Screw

What shiny aircleaners you have (looking so much better than they used to): next things to get a go with the silver spray paint will be the radiator cowl and throttle linkages.

Distributor with only one set of points

Swings and roundabouts

It's after 11pm on Sunday night, and I have again had a full afternoon and evening of 'fun' fiddling with Her Ladyship.

First of all, I was struck with a (very) minor revelation last night. As we're going on a long trip next weekend (more on that later), the subject of Dame Zara's troublesome sound system has returned to the top of my mind. In the fullness of time, I plan to buy a newfangled stereo that I can hide under the seat (or even in the boot) and control with a remote, and to put the original Radiomobile radio back in the dash - working or not! However, for the moment we are stuck with a 70s Eurovox cassette player that makes everyone sound like The Chipmunks; and with abysmal radio reception, particularly on FM (I'm beginning to suspect my sparkplug leads). Hence my brainwave: back in the dawn of time when portable CD players were new and most cars had cassette players, one could buy a mock cassette with a playback head in it and a line-in lead to connect an external CD player. Kathy has an old CD walkman - I wonder if one can still buy these cassette adaptors?

Well, as it happens, since the more recent dawn of the iPod era, it seems they have come back into fashion, as people try to use their iPods in cars that still have cassette-based stereos. So, for a measly 20-something bucks at Dick Smith, I bought a cassette adaptor and a ciggie-lighter-powered DC adaptor. And does it work?, you ask. Well, somewhat ... The power pack does indeed power the CD player, but it's a rather ungainly box sticking out of the centre of the dash, so I have cannibalised a spare cigarette lighter socket from the spare Galant dashboard sitting in the garage, and I will endeavour to mount that in the parcel shelf. The cassette doohickey does work, and the sound quality is fine, no interference from the engine, but the cassette player still thinks it has a 'real' tape in it, and the auto-reverse mechanism kicks in every 30 seconds or so trying to change 'sides'. This wouldn't be so bad, except that (as is common with auto-reverse decks) one direction has much worse audio quality than the other, and the mechanism is quite loud. So, some time this week I'll get into the guts and see if I can disable the motors of the player - it's useless for cassettes, anyway. The larger challenge will be to see if the CD player can cope with the vibrations of the car - we tried it way back in Gussie and it was hopeless - skipped all over the place. Anyways, if I can perfect the system, it's all ready for when I buy an iPod or similar MP3 device.

The next task was to finally fit my new set of points. One of the pictures above shows one of the pair sitting on the bench, looking all shiny and expectant.

And there's a closeup of the distributor, clearly showing the post for the second set of points.

(By the way, I did get around to painting Dame Zara's aircleaners the other week, and they're looking much better, making the whole engine bay look much more presentable ...)

Anyways, the points went in without too much trouble, and I adjusted them roughly, checked that the engine started and idled, and moved on to the next thing: the cooling system.

In my previous instalment, I had filled the radiator with plain water and a cleaning solution. It was now time to empty that out and refill the system with proper coolant.

First of all, I disconnected the two hoses leading to the heater and got the garden hose ready to flush it out (thanks for the tip, Brendan!). Using the longer piece of heater hose as a drain pipe, aiming at a bucket so as not to flood the driveway and drains with coolant, I put a fair amount of water pressure through the heater, blowing out some rusty crud on the first pass, and proving to myself on the second that the heater tap isn't doing too bad a job: there's a clear flow through the heater, and the tap does open and close, cutting the flow to the extent that you could hear and feel the pressure increasing in the garden hose when it was closed.

Next job was replacing the left-hand t-piece, which wasn't too fiddly a job (pic above). I chickened out on doing the right-hand one, as that entails removing the entire carburettor from that side, and while the old one is showing some age, it's not leaking at all or in imminent danger of exploding (I hope!).

The radiator was drained of its cleaning solution by opening the tap (actually, I removed the tap, as I couldn't twist it open while it was in place - but once off the car it moved freely: typical! Anyways, it went back on with some fresh silicon sealant on the thread, so I hope it won't leak), and a fresh mix of 50/50 Castrol coolant and water was added, along with extra corrosion inhibitor and a dose of Bars Leaks.

One final 'little' job: I noticed when I fitted it the other week that the new fanbelt was coming perilously close to rubbing on the brand new lower radiator hose. Now as I was poking around further in that area, it was clear that it was actually touching and that the fanbelt had started to chafe away at the hose and its clip where it enters the water pump. So I put the old, tighter belt back on ... once I'd unbolted the fan cowl, and loosened the alternator so I could slip its belt off first ... Anyways, the old one is sound enough, and there's now a good two finger's worth of clearance between the pulley and the hose, so no more chafing.

After a spot of dinner, it was time for a test-drive. By now it was about 9pm, dark and raining on and off. I started her up and nosed down the driveway. I pretty much coasted down the little hill of Church St to the lights, but as I pulled off up Flemington Rd it was clear that something was amiss: a bad misfire on the slightest acceleration. I slipped back around the corner into Southgate St and home, chugging up the little hill at barely 20mph.

Opening up the distributor, I discovered that my rough setting of the second set of points was way off - the gap was visibly too wide. So I narrowed it down (using a cut-down laminated business card as my approximately .015" feeler gauge - my proper feeler gauge set has rounded, 'Paddle Pop-stick' ends that are too wide to fit into the Dame's distributor) and took off again, this time around Royal Park toward the Zoo. Better, but still a little hesitant on accelaration or pulling up even the slightest hill. On the upside, the temperature gauge happily tipped into the lower third of the dial after a few minutes' running and climbed no more and - shock, horror! - the heater started working to the extent that I had to open a quarter window for some cool air on my cheek.

But I have to get the misfire fixed once and for all and there's nothing for it but a trip to visit the Diagnostic Technicians. We need to be in fine fettle to make it to Beechworth and back with at least eight other V8s next weekend: it's the DLCV's annual 'brass monkey' run.

Rubbery bits and happy birthday

Current milage: (1)53,970 (2270 miles since purchase in February 2006)
Latest costs: $240 (radiator hose kit, thermostat, fan & alternator belts, petrol filter, etc, etc.); $550 (registration renewal and third-party insurance)

Dear Diary,

The next time I take it upon myself to drain the radiator and begin undoing cooling hoses at a late hour on a wet, wintery Sunday afternoon, please stop me.

Firstly, it's a happy 37th birthday to both me (on 1 July) and Dame Zara (on 3 July). Sort of.

A number of witnesses (not the least of whom are my parents) and the NSW Register of Births, Deaths and Marriages will attest to the fact that I definitely entered this world on 1 July 1969. As Dame Zara's registration falls due on 3 July, the rego label says '1969', and I am assuming she still carries her original number plates, it's a not unreasonable stretch to say that her 'birthday' was 3 July 1969.

I daresay she was conceived quite a few months earlier at Brown's Lane, and spent some time at sea before landing on this strange shore - but short of shelling out an unreasonable amount of Sterling on a Heritage Certificate from the Jaguar/Daimler Heritage Trust, the gory details of her construction remain a mystery and we hereby declare 3 July her birthday. OK?

In early celebration, on the afternoon of *my* birthday Kathy & I undertook an entertainingly mis-navigated (by me) journey to Middle Urbia (Clayton, to be precise) to make the acquaintance of Mr Gary Ayre at JagAyre. Amid the carcasses of any number of Jaguars, Daimlers, and the odd 70s Roller &/or Bentley, the charming Mr Ayre disappeared into his dim and cavernous warehouse and returned (eventually) bearing a Trevor trove of rubbery bits from my 'to do' list, including: top and bottom radiator hoses, T-sections, a fan belt, an alternator belt and (in the not-rubbery department) a thermostat in its original green Jaguar box and a fuel filter element.

After not buying the slightly raffish Mk2 parked on his forecourt, we navigated our way back though the 'urbs and - once suitably dolled up - headed back much the same way for a slap-up dinner at Mizz Charlotte's in Brighton.

Not at all bright and not particularly early on a very rainy and miserable Sunday I ventured out to the garage and started on the 'easy' jobs: the fuel filter went in without much complaint; next was replacing the fan and alternator belts and fitting the replacement tensioner pulley that dad found for me...

Some hours later ...

The pulley was on (hurrah!), the fan belt was on (double hurrah!) and, after much swearing, the new alternator belt can wait and the old one will do for now. Short of taking off the whole fan and viscous coupling, and the fan cowl, and most likely not only the radiator but the grille as well, it wasn' t going in there. I known when I'm beaten.

Somewhere in the midst of all this belt action, I'd wandered (by virtue of the 59 tram) off to my favourite branch of Repco in beautiful Moonee Ponds and picked up some lengths of 3/4" and 5/8" heater hose (to make up the various lengths that join up the manifold rails and heater cables), and some noxious chemicals to flush out the radiator.

Despite the lowering sky and late hour once I returned, for some stupid reason I decided that this was the perfect time to not only pop off the hideously bulbous lower end of the exant bottom radiator hose and let all the coolant exaunt stage left into a cunningly placed bucket, but to undo not only the upper end of the lower rad hose but also the top hose and the thermostat housing. Oh the horror. Brown gunge everywhere - at least the thermostat housing came off with minimal levering and cleaned up (after a fashion) with some sandpaper.

But as darkness fell, I was faced with the unenviable task of putting it all back together - did I mention that another birthday jaunt was to take Beryl the Galant down the road to Suspension City to have her undercarriage dealt with, so if I wanted to motor anywhere on Monday, then it had to be in Dame Zara?

At this juncture, let it be said that I have never before tried to fit brand new radiator hoses to a car.

I have certainly never before tried to fit brand new radiator hoses to a car with a notoriously cramped engine bay as darkness falls, in the rain, in the dark, when it's about 10 degrees, largely lying - admittedly just within the comparative safety of the garage - in a pool of spilled, ancient green sticky coolant. And I got my hair cut yesterday.

Not to blow mine own trumpet, but - by dint of a bucket of boiling water and a tub of Vaseline I found in the hall cupboard, somewhat less skin on the back of my right hand than I am used to, and quite a number of rude words, I finally managed to return the old dear to continence, to refill her with water and the Bars Leaks radiator cleaner (which I found was rather caustic by the clever application of my rather chafed finger as a stirrer - ouch, that smarts!) and to sucessfully start her, get the noxious concoction flowing, and and get her to operating temperature without undue incident.

The astute reader (if any such has stayed the admittedly rather long course) will note that there are a few crucial steps yet to go before the job is really done - I still need to dismantle much of the manifold and carbs if I'm going to replace the T-sections (and I'd be silly not to); I haven't yet flushed the heater matrix (and seen if I have to return to Mr Ayre clutching $110 to purchase a new heater tap if mine is beyond the pale); and I will need to empty out the cleaning solution in a week ot two and replace it with a proper mix of coolant, anti-corrosion solution and Bars Leaks (to see if I can cure my weepy engine plug - I really don't fancy trying to get to that or to pay anyone else to ...)

All of this needs to be done before the weekend of the 22nd/23rd July, as we will be heading off to Beechworth and therabouts for the Daimler Club's traditional 'V8 Brass Monkey weekend' ... oh, and Gary Ayre found me The Screw to finally fit my second set of points! Perhaps the Hesitation Waltz will be cured!